Never believe in anything until it has been officially denied. – Otto von Bismarck

Never believe in anything until it has been officially denied. - Otto von Bismarck

These are seriously dodgy.

‘Parent blogs’, in my mind at least, are seriously tragic. Why? The general public could honestly not give a rats about the antic’s of kids unless they are trapped indoors with them 24/7 and they are living the same dream. Sadly the parent has no life outside of kid related stuff, and often as a result of necessity. It is beyond their personal control; it is the things we give up for our children that are the base of all of this. Noble, but socially as interesting as herpes on a goldfish.

Every Dad needs “Dad” jokes, and being the father of raging mongol like warriors, raining destruction and sticky hands at every turn, I do fit this category. “Dad” jokes inherently are the very worst of jokes; examples of these old chestnuts range from “pull my finger…….” to “what’s brown and sticky? A stick!” Boom tish indeed. Dad’s find them funny specifically because they are soooo bad.

If you need a top up of Dad jokes, read on.

“So, avast ye scurvy dog and avail yourself of the joke booty we’ll listed on this page. These pirate jokes may be silly, corny and downright smartarse¬†but who gives a barnacle’s behind. They’re free. So, don’t look a gift pirate joke in the mouth, you lily livered parrot kisser and just enjoy what is before ye.

Pirate Jokes – Top 30

What’s a pirate’s favorite socks? Arrrrgyle.

What does a pirate think happens at the end of time? Arrrrmageddon.

What’s a pirate’s favorite food? Arrrrrtichokes.

What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move? Jump hook.

How do pirates make their money? By hook or by crook.

Why do pirates make excellent fishermen? They know how to hook the big ones.
Where do pirates find their birds? Parrots Without Partners.

Did you hear about the pirate’s parrot that fell in love with a duck? The bird kept saying, “Polly wants a quacker”.

Why couldn’t the young pirate see the R-rated movie? There was no parrot-al guidance.

Why should pirates work for FedEx? They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.

What’s it called when a pirate’s sloop runs aground? It’s ship out of luck.

Why don’t pirates use a safe deposit box? They put their valuables in Davy Jones’ Locker.

Who’s the pirate’s favorite actress? Diane Cannon.

Why did the pirate refuse to say, “Aye, Aye, Captain”? Because he’s only got one eye.

What’s the pirate’s favorite restaurant? Trick question because it’s either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver’s.

How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply? Because it was on sail.

Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl? He had a severe hook.

Who was the pirate’s favorite musician? Carlos Bandana.

Why couldn’t the pirate stop thinking about sailing? He had ship for brains.

What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes? A dozen pirates.

What are the only notes a pirate can sing? High C’s [seas]

What shivers at the bottom of the sea? a nervous wreck

Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank? They’ll just wash up on shore later

What’s the smelliest part of a pirate ship? the poop deck

What grows out of a pirate’s head? corsair [coarse hair]

What’s the worse nightmare for a pirate on a blind date? a sunken chest with no booty.”

Nausea is overwhelming me also, yet, deep down my “Dadliness” (a ‘Dad’ word.) is heavily piqued.

Hamish, click the ‘Big Books’, the ultimate ‘Dad’s’ song follows. It is a bit of a heart string puller incidentally.

There are more groovy “dad/pirate’ jokes here ->

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