Man Overboard – You would have to live in a vacuum not to know the artist.

Man Overboard - You would have to live in a vacuum not to know the artist.

Of late I participated in a somewhat more ‘vigorous’ debate over who was the best female voice of our time. After the settling of dust and cessation of raining barstool’s, it was determined that Deborah Conway, not Chrissy Hines, is that voice.

Life time barrings from a certain establishment; a ride in the rear of a blue light taxi; a rather ‘interesting’ night in cells; lastly an encounter with a Magistrate whose sense of good taste, music, and humour lacked somewhat; were the ensuing result.

So, in order to have those actions justified, find below the lyric’s of the first song I had heard from this exalted songstress and diva.


“Man Overboard” – Do Re Mi (Deborah Conway on vocals. As if you didn’t know that.)

I try not to stand too close to myself
I try not to listen to the things that I say
They say there’s no such thing as self abuse
But you wonder how I can be trusted
If I’m finely tuned and well adjusted
Oh pity about you
Oh pity about me
More’s the pity about her
Every time she comes inside you have to run
You wish that crush would go away
You’re not the only one

Squinting at broad daylight
Drumming up a conversation
Parsons brass is pealing appealing
Drumming up a congregation
Hands reaching for a glass of water
Dry socks and razor rash
Your shoes under my bed
Dandruff doona cigarette ash
I’ve tried to play it open handed
I’ve tried to make a fist of this
Even when the questions are candid
My arrows miss
I’ve heard about your fragile ego
Your shield, your sword
What am I expected to do?
Shout man overboard?

Come around when I’m asleep
Roll around and try to wake me
That’s alright you’ve got to go now
Words overtake me
Your pubic hairs are on my pillow
Your stubble rings the sink
Your words under my skin
Your table manners stink
I paddle in the things I love
You wallow in a swamp of trivia
In a vase with insincere I love yous
Next door’s Camellias
I’m sick and tired of this position
Hatched underneath an arm
Your crutch under stress
Your rudder when it’s calm
I’m bored of staring at the ceiling
While you point out my flaws
I’ve watched the wallpaper peeling from slamming doors
You talk about penis envy
Your friends applaud
What am I expected to do?
Shout man overboard?

Come across to other girls
Look around and start a rumour
Jealous wife scenes raise a smile at parties
Like anal humour
Are you addicted to attention?
Do you do it for effect?
Your wit out of control
Misunderstood and henpecked!

Again, click Deborahs picture to watch the vid. and hear the tune.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: