Again, this is a first draft, hence as with all first drafts, there is a certain ‘waft’ about them.
Anyway, God has just gotten out of bed on a Sunday morning to discover the remains of last nights party.
“God, currently posted to the ‘The Now’ – Arab Sector – 5000 to 500BC Common Deity Office, staggered through the detritus of a party from the evening before. Vague, fuzzy, and fractured memories washed over him. Still in a pair of well worn, much loved undies; the site of the lounge room sent a scant shiver up his spine as the recollection of inviting the entire ‘Big Pub In The Sky’ punters home after closing, and the image of Mrs. God in a dressing gown and a pair of novelty rabbit slippers when they all arrived. Apparently she had been sleeping?
Outside a bird chirped. Sneaking suspicions that it was an emissary from God, ‘Probation’ – Arab Sector – 100,000 to 100BC Water to Wine and Hangover Affairs Office. The bird, whilst deploying evil head splitting chirps, had strategically positioned itself on top of the wheelie bins near the driveway; offering a perfect position to send waves of directed sound through the front window, ‘status – open’. Once inside, the sound now trapped in doors and doing its best to get out, reverberated around the lounge; across the now cigarette and beer can littered dining table. In fluid cunning and wavy movement, the chirp found a possible escape route, the main passage to the master bedroom, ‘status – Mrs. God, occupied’.
It struck her with the fury of ‘God’, Probation – Norse Sector – 1 to 1500AD Rape, Pillage, and Burn Office; she awoke in the manner of angry Mrs. God’s the polyverse over.
Lying in wait, the now very awake Mrs. God lay in the marital bed; relishing the bollocking she was about to give, but waiting long enough to text Mrs. God ‘Probation’ – Christian Sector – 500BC to 1500AD Common Deity Office. That done, she had a quick look at DeityBook, and shared one or two witty pictures of cats. From there she went on ‘bleater’, and ‘bleated’ about the state of Gods House; with steel and poise, she rolled out of bed, and stalked after God. Mrs. Gods anger now honed to optimum levels for God bothering.”
Yes, I know, it is rougher than a transvestites chin. Click on the picture of some Greek Gods, music, clip follows. Gods Hotel – Nick Cave.